|09:22 pm - OPEN LETTER|
Dear St. Louis Cardinals,
After sweeping the Cincinnati Reds last week you found yourself in first place in the National League Central and as summer starts giving way to autumn right in the thick of the playoff hunt. So, basically in the exact same spot you’ve been in for eight of the last ten years.
I am writing you to ask that you please stop. It’s getting old. It’s not because I am a Cubs fan that I feel a twinge of nausea every time I check the standings and see the words “St. Louis” hovering near the top of the division. The nausea comes from the fact that I am a fan of competition and, even more so, variety. In short, St. Louis Cardinals, your continued success is boring. (And if there is one thing baseball should not ever be, it is boring.)
Now, I know that I am supposed to be impressed by your sustained excellence and praise your ownership and your front office for all of the hard work that they’ve done. And yeah, it’s true that all of that is mighty impressive, but it’s also true that after a while sustained excellence becomes kind of douchey (see: New York Yankees).
Let me state again that I don’t want you to step aside just to let the Cubs take over your usual position. There are plenty of teams in the Central Division that I would love to see attain a little glory be it the Brewers, the Pirates or the Reds. But not the Astros. Those guys are dicks.